July 1, 2004

 
I want to update everyone on Daegen.  The doctor's are trying to refer Daegen to St. Jude in Memphis, TN.  Janelle spoke with Dr. Smith on Tuesday and was told that Daegen would probably be accepted at St. Jude and it will possibly be the end of August this year.  We still are planning on going to Disney World assuming Daegen's counts are up by then and we have some time before we go to St. Jude.  We are scheduled to go to Disney World on August 11th, so hopefully things will work out.  

Daegen completed his chemotherapy on Sunday, June 27th without any complication yet.  This was possibly the first time that the nurses have given this particular chemotherapy drug on pediatrics.  The drug, Mylotarg, <http://www.fda.gov/cder/consumerinfo/druginfo/Mylotarg.htm> has many possible side effects and Daegen needed to be monitored for some time to make sure he had no problems.  One of the main concerns is a liver problem.  Daegen continues to amaze everyone by his strength and willingness to fight.  On Monday he took his first pill by mouth and swallowed it.  I was tired of breaking the capsule and putting the Prevacid on his food so I just gave him the capsule and told him to put it in his mouth.  On the second try, he was able to swallow the capsule and was very excited.  It was an awesome moment as a parent to see him take this step forward.  

Thanks to many kind people at the City of Topeka, I was able to get shared leave donated to me to allow me to be off more with Daegen so Janelle can spend quality time with Alexa.  I was running very low on my sick time, vacation time and comp time.  The donated time will allow me to be with Daegen and for Janelle to spend some time with Alexa.  

Janelle and I had an opportunity to go eat and go to a movie on Wednesday night.  I must say I felt guilty being out having a good time while Daegen is fighting for his life.  I know Janelle and I need to have our time but it is hard to block out all that Daegen is going through.  On the drive home from the movie around midnight, I cried all the way home as I laid my hand on Janelle's leg. Janelle had no idea I was crying.  Many things were going through my mind on the drive home.  I kept thinking about Daegen and Alexa.  I kept thinking about Daegen staring death right in the face and not flinching or running away.  Daegen is looking at this straight on and not giving any ground.  Alexa has been so strong and brave.  She does not complain about the lack of quality time with her.  She does wish our family could be together more, but she has a wonderful understanding for what is going on.  Janelle asked her the other day to draw something that scares her.  Alexa drew a snake.  Janelle, always being a psychologist was trying to get Alexa to talk about Daegen and how things were going.  Janelle then asked Alexa to draw something that worried her.  Alexa, having a better understanding of God's word than I could ever have did not draw anything.  Janelle asked Alexa what she is worried about and Alexa said, "God teaches us not to worry."  Wow.  She is only 8 and she gets it.  Janelle then asked Alexa to draw something that made her sad.  Alexa then drew Daegen.  

There are many days that Janelle and I feel angry, sad, upset or mad.  There are many days that Janelle and I feel at peace with what is happening because we know it is in God's hand.  I feel really bad when someone ask me how I am doing or how Janelle and I are holding up and I say, "We are doing fine", "We are doing okay", or "We are doing good."  Here my son is possibly going to die and I feel good, fine or okay.  What is wrong with me?  I think Janelle and I feel that way because we feed of Alexa and Daegen's strength and love for life.  Not a day goes by without Daegen telling Janelle how beautiful she looks, how nice her hair is, how pretty she is or how nice she looks.  This kid is constantly getting me in trouble with Janelle.  I should really take a long look at how he treats his mom and take some notes.  Please don't feel that you shouldn't ask Janelle and I how we are doing.  This is probably the question that we are asked the most.  Sometimes we will tell you it sucks or we are doing okay or as good as we can be.  Rest assured, Janelle, Alexa, Daegen and I will never give up this fight and we will conquer this disease.  We are so thankful to all that have been there to help us out through this long journey and those who continue to offer us any support that we feel we need.  Total strangers even are offering to help in any way they can.  I sometimes wonder if God put this on my family because we have so many wonderful families, friends, neighbors, strangers, co-workers or others to lean on.  

Back to Daegen and his stay at KU Med.  On day 28 (I think today is day 11) the doctors will do a Bone Marrow Aspiration to check his bone marrow.  Day 28 will be the earliest his counts will start to come back up.  He can't get the GCSF shots until possibly after day 28 since the GCSF and the Mylotarg don't get along or mix well.  It can take up to 56 days for the counts to come up.  The doctors said that we could even do another round of chemotherapy to keep him in remission, assuming that he gets in remission.  

I don't want to sugar coat things for Daegen.  His condition clinically is serious.  He is now worse off than he was before and Daegen dying is clinically more probable now than survival is.  I keep saying clinical because that is what the medical possibilities are.  God only knows what God's plans are.  I decided early on not to try to figure that out, it will beat you to death.  What is going to happen will happen and Janelle and I can't change that.  Our hope is that what will happen is survival.  Please keep praying for Daegen and Janelle and Alexa and even me.  As I type this e-mail a good song is on the radio, Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying".  This is one of my favorite songs since it has been released.  God Bless everyone and don't forget to go to www.dmanhero.com and sign the guest book.  I will keep you all posted.      

Detective Lance Feyh
Juvenile/SVU
Crisis Negotiator
Topeka Police Department
320 S. Kansas, Suite 100
Topeka, KS, 66603
785-368-9033